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FOMO

FEAR OF MISSING OUT


Viral, highly transmittable, reoccurring, debilitating: FOMO. It’s estimated that FOMO will infect one in three persons over the age of 18 months by the year 2017. The disease is insidious due to the wildly various causes; travel, fashion, chic Danish home-wares, even milkshakes can bring on an episode of FOMO, and the effects are devastating. The only way to immunise yourself against FOMO is to be in – on everything.


IT'S ESTIMATED
THAT FOMO
WILL INFECT

PERSONS OVER
THE AGE OF 18
MONTHS BY 2017

OF SOCIAL
MEDIA USERS
SUFFER FROM
FOMO

GEN-YERS WILL
EXPERIENCE
FOMO WEEKLY


THE AVERAGE
AUSTRALIAN
EXPERIENCES FOMO
EVERY 2 TO 3 MONTHS

OF AUSTRALIANS
SAY THEY'VE
SUFFERED
FROM FOMO





CAUSES



TRAVEL

FASHION

MUSIC EVENTS

DANISH HOME-WARES

MILKSHAKES


SYMPTOMS



SOCIAL STANDING

In the same vein – no contact observation (lurking) of other’s social media can also temporarily alleviate FOMO. Ctrl F5. Refresh. Where are they? What are they doing? What are they tweeting? Why is this page taking so long to load? What’s their status? Have they uploaded photos? Videos? Why didn’t I just go? Why am I still here? Why, why? Obviously this is a band-aid measure only and can often exacerbate prolonged FOMO.

FREAK OUTS

Little pangs of longing and jealousy that start like jungle drums in the distance and erupt full-tempo into cold sweats, constant phone-checking and in some cases, shortness of breath. These episodes can last anywhere between 5 minutes to 15 years and are marked by panicked mutterings such as ‘If I’d just’, ‘Why didn’t I’ and ‘I didn’t know about’. FOMO can strike anywhere, anytime but there is usually a marked spike on Friday and Saturday evenings.

CRANKY PANTS

Oh cranky pants. You’re in for a long day, or week…even year. FOMO is certainly not fun, nor easy to get over. The regret factor and jealous anxiety deeply alters mood: mobile phone throwing, erratic tantrums, foot stomping, consistant *why me*’s and *I hate you*’s tend to manifest during the height of a FOMO episode. People suffering FOMO aren't pleasant company, which ironically perpetuates the vicious circle of missing out.

COMPULSIVE TEXTING

Like Nurofen for headaches, minute-by-minute social media updates and/or instant messaging can be taken to relieve the immediate symptoms of FOMO. While you do run the risk of developing secondary ailments like blisters, calluses or RSI; you are able to maintain a sense of inclusion without actual physical presence. The soothing buzz of the message received has proven 12 times more effective than the placebo during recent, peer reviewed drug-trials.


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